Looking for "affirmation" in all the wrong places...continued.

I want to pick up where I left off yesterday examing my past and opening my wound. I told you about my booming stereo and skateboarding success and how they brought me affirmation. This morning I want to tell you about "church." Is it possible that church could play a part in my wound? Yes. And looking back, I see how. Before my first wife and I divorced we started going to a Pentecostal church of about 500 people. Everyone was so loving and accepting, the preacher was an awesome speaker, and the Holy Spirit moved in mighty ways there. One day I noticed that the drummer was playing during worship on Sunday morning and then leaving as soon as the music part was over. Majority of the time he wouldn't be there on Sunday or Wednesday nights. Without the drums, it just didn't sound right. No one else stepped up to play and I noticed that when the drummer was there I followed his beat. I have never played an instrument in my life nor have I ever had any lessons. But that didn't deter me. I told my mom that I thought I could play those drums so I went out and bought a brand new five piece set of Pearl Drums. With no training and no experience I was playing in front of 500 people! And one of the greatest memories I have is when the preacher stopped the worship service and pointed out to everybody that I was playing and he told how I've never played drums before in my life! Man, the affirmation I got that night was great! I had so many people giving me pats-on-the-back and bragging on me. I was soaring like a rocket traveling high speed through space! Only this too, would one day come to an end. Our preacher decided to become an evangelist and he left. When the new preacher was hired, his wife was in charge of the music. By this time I was in the middle of my divorce. I went to ask for help during this difficult time in my life but all I got was the boot. She told me that I couldn't play the drums anymore. It was the most difficult time of my life. I had lost my family, my job (because of family problems), and now, the only thing that brought me affirmation, my church. But all is not lost! I went to another church because that's where a lot of the people who got mad at the new preacher went to. They needed a bass palyer. I have never picked up a guitar but that didn't matter. I played in front of two hundred people like I knew what I was doing the whole time. I even sang some solos! But this too faded away after a couple of years. Looking back I see that all of these things I have talked about over the last few days, the skateboarding, the stereo, the truck, the drums. They were just my way of covering up who I really was. It was ways for me to get something I never got from my dad...affirmation, the sense that I belonged somewhere. They brought me pats-on-the-back and I couldn't get enough of it. But now they are gone. Oh, I still have a skateboard but my back injury has caused me to put it in the shed, I still have a set of drums, only they are collecting dust in my bedroom, I still have the trophies from my baseball days, crank it-up contest, and skateboarding, but what they do for me now is different. They remind me of the poser I was. Now that I have faced my past, I must alow God to direct my future. I must learn and am learning to seek affirmation from Him. Why? Because He is always here, He always has an ear to lend, and His love is very great. No matter how bad I screw things up, He loves me anyway and He's there, there to lend a hand to pick me up and get me going again. My friend, if you are not getting the afirmation you need or you didn't get it whie you were young, turn to Jesus. Drugs, alcohol, sex, whatever you fill in the missing pieces with, they are NOT the answer. They will all fail you. Your friends will, your family will, your spouse will,your kids will, but not Jesus. Why do you think He is called "petra"? He is the immovable stone. You can trust Him. Do you? Hebrews 11:6 Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. Hebrews 13:5 For He Himself has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”